The Church's Approval

We finally are booked for our pre-cana schtuff. We elected to go to an all day conference instead of committing to a certain night of the week for 6 weeks. With our schedules at work, that would never do. Besides I think we are more of the rip the band-aid off type people. Both FH and I are Catholic and went to Catholic schools our whole lives so we are not strangers to this sort of thing but spending a full day at a Conference for the Engaged sounds like torture. On a positive note, they let us in. I have to say I was a little worried about that (we live together, FH has a son, we're not long time members of the parish and are not even getting married in the diocese) but in good church fashion, when the donation is big enough, your sins are absolved.

I hate to sound so negative. I actually love the priest that is marrying us and it was really important to me to get married in my hometown church. He was the first calming factor after the engagement and the first person who was able to get me to take a breath and realize what the whole thing was about, our marriage, not the big party on the perfect date with the perfect venue and the right colors.

Any one have good experiences at pre-cana? I really have heard only stories of how boring it is and out of touch. Or, has anyone not passed? Whoa, never even thought about that!

Its his wedding too!

Grooms get no respect, why???
So, I am not sure why this is and whether or not I find it funny or frustrating.

On more than a few occasions I have delegated duties to dear FH and each time, it seems, the contact will search high and low to get to me and bypass FH as if his opinion has no bearing on the situation at all.

Believe me, I want FH involved and when he is willing to take the ball on something, I am more than willing to hand it off to him! He's a great party planner and really good at logistics - he even has an eye for aesthetics - in short, I really value his opinions and decisions on this stuff!

Hotel- FH did a great job negotiating a rate and getting a block set up. He's been in touch with them and even had a discount rate extended. I have no idea how they even got my contact information - I think it was somehow through my mom! - but they tracked me down yesterday to ask me a question and get my email so they could send us the latest rooming manifest. Why not just send it to FH? Why not ask him? Please, I have enough I am working on!

Rehearsal Dinner-FH contacted the hotel catering and cc'd me on an email to them. Well, after he was pretty far down the road, they cut him out completely and would just email and call me! Every time I would get an email I would just forward it on to him, he'd respond to the caterer and then she would email ME back. LOL, that takes an actual effort!

Now the funniest one! His MOM! We're at the point where we have to make some cuts to the guest list before the save the dates go out. The list just grew waaaaay to big and caused the implosion of the budget. So, we all had to cut a couple of people. FH called his parents and asked them to cut. She said she would talk to him last night and come up with a few people. I was in yoga last night, come out of class and have 6 missed calls from the in-laws. I check my message and it is to tell me who was going to be on the chopping block. Why not just call FH? Let him know?

I love that people think I am the authority but man, there are quite a few things where I would be happy to - I WANT to- I NEED to- give the reigns to FH and let him handle from start to finish.

Unproductive but tan

So I spent the weekend on Long Island, FH came with. I thought for sure we would knock some stuff out this weekend but we got NOTHING done. FH said- we came here to spend the weekend at the beach not to visit vendors. It was hard to argue since we had 2 great days and one day that wasn't a beach day but we did a lot of exercise (In a way this is wedding prep, right?)

I did visit the hair salon while I was there and had a bridal consultation. one of the things I learned is that with the hair style I am thinking about, I need a veil that lays flat when the blusher is pulled down. The consultant explained this to me 4 times and I still do not know if I understood her completely. Either way, I know I need a metal comb, and the veil sewn with a straight line. Who knew?

One more dilemma. I have not been able to get in to see my hair colorist - our schedules were just not meeting up. So I went when I was back home and I LOVE the way my color came out. I can't seriously go to NY every time I want my hair colored! But now, I may have this girl color my hair a few weeks before the big day, I am sure I will have to be up in LI running errands anyway.